Picking Porn Over Sleep
I am now on my second sleepless night in four days devoted to edging my beta cocklette and deny my worthless balls. My record in three sleepless nights stroking in four days.
The exhaustion is wonderful, but it is the despair and depression that is the best. Knowing how tired you are, becoming almost physically ill...and then forcing yourself to stroke anyway - the deliberate choosing of Porn and self-abused over self-care is so delicious.
The key is getting in, and staying in, the Goon or Bate Zone...where your cock takes over, where it is constantly edged, where the hours slide by. Let the Porn take you, focus on staying in the zone. If you are becoming too tired, stop making comments, stop saving images to your Porn stash, focus on the stroke and keeping Porn in your brain. Navigate to sicker and more depraved Porn to keep up your arousal...let the lust overcome responsibility, let your lust overcome your body's needs.
One sleepless night can be recovered from fairly quickly, which is why stacking them up is so perfectly wrong. I love turning on my computer, and bringing up the Porn, when EVERY bit of me craves sleep. I pull up my panties and put on my bra, and then start diddling my little beta clit...soon, it is hard, it can't help itself.
Then, I deliver the first edges, and the fatigue begins to fade. I bring on more edges, harder, longer, keeping my balls tight...soon, I am a proper gooner, and I edge for hour after hour. But, eventually, the hours tick away, until it is in the wee hours of the morning...1-3 am is the worst, a natural low point of energy. It is there that I turn off the lights, illuminated only by the glow of Porn. In the dark, the desire to sleep is even stronger - and so I pound my beta cock harder...
If you can find a chat buddy to feed you, great. If you can find a Findom to pay and engage with you, better. I keep stroking - I may use energy drinks and and caffeine to make me jittery - anything that allows me to continue to beat my cock and ignore my body's need for sleep.
then the day comes...and I have to go...I am shattered, useless at work, barely able to function. And, in my Porn induced haze, I think about jerking again the next night.
The exhaustion is wonderful, but it is the despair and depression that is the best. Knowing how tired you are, becoming almost physically ill...and then forcing yourself to stroke anyway - the deliberate choosing of Porn and self-abused over self-care is so delicious.
The key is getting in, and staying in, the Goon or Bate Zone...where your cock takes over, where it is constantly edged, where the hours slide by. Let the Porn take you, focus on staying in the zone. If you are becoming too tired, stop making comments, stop saving images to your Porn stash, focus on the stroke and keeping Porn in your brain. Navigate to sicker and more depraved Porn to keep up your arousal...let the lust overcome responsibility, let your lust overcome your body's needs.
One sleepless night can be recovered from fairly quickly, which is why stacking them up is so perfectly wrong. I love turning on my computer, and bringing up the Porn, when EVERY bit of me craves sleep. I pull up my panties and put on my bra, and then start diddling my little beta clit...soon, it is hard, it can't help itself.
Then, I deliver the first edges, and the fatigue begins to fade. I bring on more edges, harder, longer, keeping my balls tight...soon, I am a proper gooner, and I edge for hour after hour. But, eventually, the hours tick away, until it is in the wee hours of the morning...1-3 am is the worst, a natural low point of energy. It is there that I turn off the lights, illuminated only by the glow of Porn. In the dark, the desire to sleep is even stronger - and so I pound my beta cock harder...
If you can find a chat buddy to feed you, great. If you can find a Findom to pay and engage with you, better. I keep stroking - I may use energy drinks and and caffeine to make me jittery - anything that allows me to continue to beat my cock and ignore my body's need for sleep.
then the day comes...and I have to go...I am shattered, useless at work, barely able to function. And, in my Porn induced haze, I think about jerking again the next night.
6 years ago
